I read an interesting story this morning. A woman in Michigan, America, has been convicted of raping a man at gunpoint. The photo above is the woman in question.
This story aroused me. I cannot deny that it did. I prefer always to tell the truth.
As I read of the events alleged to have occurred, I developed an erection. As I pictured the scenario in my mind, my moral instincts melted from the heat of my lustfulness. A rape, the sexual assault of an innocent man, aroused me.
Let us be clear – just because, in this case, a woman is said to be responsible and the victim is a man, that does not make what is alleged to have transpired any less of a rape. Rape is rape. It is a gender-neutral crime, equally traumatic to both sexes.
But my arousal is nevertheless surely connected to the special circumstances of this case. I am not aroused by the rape of a woman by a man. As a heterosexual masochist, I have long fantasised specifically about being raped by a woman – about female-on-male rape. That is what I find erotic.
And how should I feel about this? Something in my conscience demands that I feel guilty for these thoughts. Are such fantasies really harmless? Am I not deriving enjoyment and pleasure from someone else’s misfortune and trauma?
It’s hard to deny these charges. And yet I remain excited. I enjoy imagining being put through the same trauma, but with a smile on my face.
Rape fantasies have always been a very difficult moral issue in the sadomasochistic subculture. Traditionally, such fantasises have been the preserve of women and gay men. But, as this story shows, it’s something we all have to think about at some point.
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