Sarah Huckabee Sanders is the Most Desirable Woman in the Universe


The Trump administration currently managing the United States of America is generally agreed to be a bad thing for the USA and the world more broadly. I don’t want to go with or against this consensus (if it is one) here. This posts intends only to deal with one particular actor in the regime, not the regime itself. I hope that the reader can therefore agree or disagree with me according to sentiments separate from their pre-existing view of the current American government.

The thesis I want to advance is that Sarah Huckabee Sanders – who is, at the time of writing at least, the press secretary to Donald Trump – is a woman of quite dazzling beauty; and more than this, that she may in fact be the most desirable woman in the universe.

At the time of writing, my position is not broadly shared.

If you access a video of Miss Sanders on YouTube and take time to browse the comments beneath, it quickly becomes apparent that the press secretary’s beauty is not of the simple or crowd-pleasing kind. It is a complex beauty, whose very existence is appreciable only to those who understand already what beauty truly, objectively is.

The kind of beauty people perceive depends I believe as much on that person’s intelligence as on any other aspect of their perspective. More intelligent people perceive ‘truer’ forms of beauty than unintelligent people, just as they perceive art with better taste and accuracy. Beauty is thus not entirely subjective any more than art is.

An ignorant person might honestly find a photograph of a cheeseburger to be aesthetically superior to a Miro painting. He is not lying about what he prefers, and it may be true for him in that sense, but we can confidently remark that his opinion stems from a lack of something on his part. Blind to a certain kind of higher beauty, he settles necessarily for something easier to appreciate. A cheeseburger is appealing because he likes cheeseburgers and understands the value of food. Understanding the value of Miro, on the other hand, is beyond him.

The simplest kinds of human beauty, like the simplest kinds of aesthetic design, appeal more to less intelligent people than to intelligent ones. Unintelligent people are drawn to what is superficially appealing. Intelligent people are attracted to what is rare and distinct and genuinely valuable.

Ms Sanders’ beauty is of the rare and complicated kind. It is multifaceted and often transient, being dependent somewhat on her mood and chosen expression. When Ms Sanders’ face is blank, for example, she seems rather plain and unremarkable. But when she smiles, when she is happy, her face lights up in a thousand places, and she becomes divine.

There is also the factor of Ms Sanders’ voice to consider. Her accent – citric, drawling and unmistakably Southern, is perfectly charming in its music. She is a woman of the mountains, of the hills and ravines. Her voice, with all its weathered carvings and indentations, is pure Americana, the result of centuries of tumult and thunderous history.

Ms Sanders’ body is masculine and dominating. She is not a waif of a thing as seems – quite inexplicably – to remain the fashion of our time. She is a Waterhouse Goddess, with broad shoulders and a neck fit for a thoughtful head. The fact that this intimidates the simple and the ignorant only renders her still more desirable.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is a goddess.


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